Who Really Are You? (P)

It was a day of darkness, saddness, lonelieness, and pain within the heart of a young Uzumaki princess. Her body had regretted waking up this day and her mind didn't wish to function the way it was forced to. The child had risen from bed with blue eyes of dull emotion and determination of a wary sloth. She tied her hair up, she clothed herself, and she wandered her way out into the dreaded world of sunshine that she lived in. The sun shined from above as the children laughed about, yet Hana just wanted to shut it all off.

Blue eyes would look up to a group of kids about her age, if not younger than she only to sigh and continue walking past them. However, they would decide that she wasn't going to get away so easily, "Where do you think yo-" They hadn't even begun, yet a kunai had been pointed to the neck of one of the individuals as blue eyes raged with fire. "You're crazy!
Stupid redhead!" the kid would back away slowly before the group would run off. The girl would replace the Kunai back to the pouch on her right thigh. Her journey would continue all the way... to the graveyard.

The small child would stop as her eyes scanned amoung the stones emitting from the ground. Her steps would continue until the very graves she wished to meet were in front of her. The child would stare for a moment before kneeling in front of them. "Mama.. Papa..
It's been a while. Sorry I haven't come to visit you. I passed the academy so I've been training alot. I have a team now. I have a Sensei too. Her name is Sayuri and she's trying to teach me to seal things too. She's nice to me but... the others not so much. They all think I'm weird.. that I'm different. Maybe I am... but it gets a little lonely sometimes. I just.. I wish you were both here. It's so hard not having anyone." The girl's voice had become shaky and tears were threatening to be emitted from her eyes.

The girl was left in silence, though she wasn't alone, Sayuri had been watching the whole time. She would feel a reassuring hand squeeze her shoulder when the jounin finally decided to reveal her precense. "You doing okay Hana?" Apparently she had heard everything, and seemed genuinely concerned. It wasn't good the young uzumaki was pulling kunai on other children, which had Sayuri thinking she might have been a poor role model in that regard. She would ignore that for now though and kneel beside the younger girl, looking over the pair of gravestones in-front of them. It would be hard to tell, but Sayuri was a little nervous. It would be normal for someone to be concerned about one of their students like that, but it would quickly come to question how she knew where to go.

She would sit in silence for now, letting Hana compose herself a little more as she thought about what to say next. "You know, they'd be proud of you Hana." She would add, hoping to help her feel just a little better. It seems though, despite Hana having not been there for a while, there were some wilted roses there as if someone had been visiting regularly. Though they were pale blue in colour, it was easy to imagine how beautiful they might have been when they were first put there. Though, someone had gone through some effort to arrange some an odd colour of flower. For now, Sayuri would stay silent, waiting to see just how Hana might react.

As the tears threatened to exit the small Uzumaki's eyes, a hand would find its way onto Hana's shoulder prompting her to place a hand within her kunai pouch as she turned to meet a familiar face. Upon seeing Sayuri, Hana would release her kunai and quickly rub her eyes. The small red haired girl would grin a bit nervously, "Yeah. Just visiting some family! The uh.. breeze had my eyes irritated," the girl would giggle nervously as she rubbed the back of her head. Then, she would hear Sayuri speak sweet words that made her heart twinge. Proud? How could they be proud of her now? There was no way. She was only starting and she didn't know much of anything yet. She had onky just learned how to seal things away. But.. who is Sayuri talking about?
Did she know about Hana's parents? It would make sense considering she was Hana's sensei.

Blue eyes would stare at the older Uzumaki before she realized that something was strange about this situation. "Huh? But uh.. Sensei, why are you here?
I know I'm your student and all.. but you couldn't have known I was here." The child would look around with a bit of a confused face. She hadn't seen many other Uzumaki's barried in this particular area. "Are you visiting someone too, Sayuri Sensei?" Hana could only imagine how many people Sayuri had lost considering her position, so it wouldn't surprise her if someone she knew died on the same day as Hana's parents.

Sayuri took a note of the girl's reaction to surprise, it was good that she was as least quick on the draw and it wasn't as though Sayuri herself didn't respond to potential threats with a little too much fervor. Regardless, it seemed like Hana wanted to avoid crying in front of her sensei and while that was understandable it wasn't the most healthy thing she should be doing. No need to keep everything bottled up inside like that, it would just eat away at her until it became too much. "You can cry Hana, nothing wrong with that" She would reassure the girl as she looked on to the two headstones, pondering something quietly while Hana would begin to question the jounin's reason for being here today.

Of course the question Sayuri had been dreading since she had woken up this morning had come, maybe a little sooner than she had hoped. The jounin would go quiet for some time, contemplating exactly how she was going to proceed. With a slightly uncertain look on her face, Sayuri would take her right hand would reach over to the seal on her left wrist, activating it to draw out two flowers, carefully replacing the wilted ones in their place. It probably wouldn't take too long for Hana to figure out what the older Uzumaki was going for. She didn't want to say it outright, and thus sat in silence as she waited for the inevitable. It wasn't clear yet if Hana would flip out or just leave, so Sayuri was mentally preparing herself for either outcome.

Hana would twitch a bit as Sayuri told her that it was ok to cry confirming that she knew what Hana thought she did. The small Uzumaki would begin to feel her face warm up as her eyes watered once again. She would do anything just to have her parents beside her. She would do anything just to have a family again. She would do anything just to not have to be alone in such a large house that she didn't even pay for. She would do anything to just have someone to support her. She couldn't rememeber much of who they were, but they were warm memories. She remembered their smiles, their excitement, their joy, their pain, their saddness, and their fear. She remembered a reality with them included that was more than she could ever ask for, but being do young she took it for granted.

However, Sayuri had grown silent prompting a more nervous thinking in Hana's mind. Why was she here? Did something bad happen? What more did Hana have to lose? What did Sayuri really come here for? With solemn movements, the jounin would move her hand over a seal upon her left wrist causing a panicked feeling in Hana's belly. What was in that seal? Relief. Relief would fall over the small Uzumaki as Sayuri pulled out flowers. Flowers for who? Flowers for Hana's parents? Blue eyes would widen as Hana would watch this endeavor between her parents and her sensei. Was Sayuri a friend of theirs? Sayuri was an Uzumaki too maybe they were family? Then, why wouldn't Sayuri have taken Hana in? Why would she make Hana live alone? Between the feelings of confusion and sadness, tears would stream from Hana's cheeks. She wanted to run, hide, and never see Sayuri again. Alas, she needed answers.

"W-Who are they to you? Who really are you?!" Hana's face would twist into a form of anger as tears continued to fall from her heartbrokenness. Who was her Sensei? Why did it take her this long to confront Hana? Why wouldn't she have just said it aloud? Hana needed to hear it from Sayuri's own mouth.

It felt like an eternity to have Hana respond to her, it was almost unbearable. Though it had been a long time now, and the jounin had thought she was prepared, she was nowhere close. When the young girl's face screwed up in anger she couldn't bring herself to look the girl in the eyes... but she deserved an explanation. Though she just didn't know how to put this into words. So she instead would just go ahead and say it outright."I'm your older sister" Sayuri could only brace for the anger that would bring, after all it seemed to paint Sayuri as some sort of monster. Anything she said from this point on would just seem like an excuse for her negligence, but maybe she could get Hana to understand her reasons.

"When they died, it was just me and you. Since I joined ANBU I figured it would just be better if you could make it alone and not have to lose someone else..." At the time it seemed like a good idea, though she had been somewhat emotionally compromised due to their parents death. She didn't want to be the cause of more heartache when she didn't come back from a mission, or simply disappeared due to the covert nature of that group. Looking back, she had clearly made the wrong choice, which is why Sayuri planned on fixing it now, if it was even possible.

Hana would continue to stare as her face became the same shade as her hair symbolizing a furious anger that had never before been seen from the Uzumaki child. Tears strolled down her cheeks from the multitude of emotions that fought for attention and for the surface. Hana thought she was prepared for the answer. Hana thought she was ready for what came next. The words would hit her like a rasengan to the stomach and her being would freeze completely. Her sister? Hana didn't have a sister. Hana didn't remember a sister. Hana had her mother, her father, and nobody else. She never had a sibling to play with. She didn't remember. She rememebered the funeral service that was secret to the public. She rememebered sitting alone crying without any understanding as to why she couldn't see her mother and father again. There was no sister to comfort her. There was no sister that even showed up just to sit in the background. There wasn't even a sister to hold Hana at night, as she sat alone in that large empty house terrified of the dark and of her own nightmares. Hana would begin to giggle thinking about it all. It would turn from a small, cute giggle to a hysterical cackling. "Y-You must think you're so funny, huh?! I don't have a sister! I've never had a sister!
It was just mom, dad, and me. That's all. Just us! Then, just me. I was alone. I was small and terrified... and alone. Where was my sister then?! Where was my sister when I sat in the dark crying for anyone that cared? Where was my sister when I would be so lonely that my only solace was talking to pictures on the walls of faces long burried in the dirt? Where was my sister... when I needed her?"

Hana would turn away hearing the words of the older Uzumaki before her. Her blue eyes had burst into tears throughout her own epilogue of sadness and depression. A small 'tch' would escape her teeth before the girl would speak towards the ground, "I would have rather lived knowing I had something to live for rather than thinking I had nothinh left. " Her small voice would crack and break as her heart sunk straught into the dirt, dust, and debris beneath her very feet. Her knees would hit the ground as she would wipe never-ending tears from her soaked face. "I-I... I... I needed... you," her voice would say through small pauses of agony and cracking sounds.

Sayuri could see the pain she had caused with her words, manifesting as a furious anger that tended to be a trait among some of the Uzumaki clan. The jounin would just stay silent, trying her best to keep the young girl's gaze no matter what. It wasn't an easy choice, and it certainly wasn't the smartest choice, but Sayuri had been rather young herself when she made it. Her expression quickly faded to a frown, seeming most disappointed in herself as the younger girl began to vent all the emotions that had become bottled up during those years of negligence. "I know I wasn't there... but I did everything I could" Thankfully the girl had turned away, making it easier for Sayuri to hold her composure. Hana wouldn't have known, though she must have wondered who had been leaving small gifts at her door. From new clothes and other everyday items to small presents on special occasions. The neighbors had been good to her, if a little distant. She didn't want to say it aloud, as if it was some sort of excuse, but maybe when she calmed down Hana could piece together who that mysterious benefactor had been all these years. Or it might just make her more upset, after all, how hard would it have been to take that extra step and knock at the door instead of just leaving gifts?

Seeing her younger sibling reduced to tears was almost more than she could bare, reaching out only to pull her hand away at the last moment. "I know it's too late now... but I'm going to be here for you. If you'll let me" It was a long shot, and Sayuri knew it. Having waited so long now, maybe it would have been better to just never tell her, but she wasn't sure she could have spent every day as the girl's sensei just constantly lying to her like that. "And if not, Kuroi and Zakul will look after you. I really couldn't have asked for a better team to look over" If she even deserved to look over them... She hadn't noticed it herself, but her own face was already streaked with tears, most uncharacteristic of her, but it had been a long time since her softer side had really surfaced. Not just the bubbly facade that hid a deeply troubled young woman.

She didn't know what to say or what to do, except just cry. She cried for what seemed like forever. She cried every day since the passing of her parents, even if she knew they wouldn't have wanted her too. Hana was young, she was small, and she had a heart so very fragile that she just couldn't seem to bare being alone. However, she was also very strong for pushing on so long by her very lonesome and striving for great things, although now she wasn't quite sure if she was the one destined to be like her parents now. Perhaps, Sayuri was the one that was supposed to live up to there expectations all along and maybe Sayuri was the one that was supposed to inherit everything they had left behind. It seemed that the more Hana contemplated what she had gained from the word 'sister' she had lost much greater things that meant the world to her. Who was she now? What greatness did she need to achieve now that she knew she wasn't so special afterall? Had her parents even been impressed wth her or was it really Sayuri they had always looked to? The child would stand and turn to her sensei in a fit of tear filled rage, until she saw the emotion pouring from her sister's eyes. Why was she crying? WHAT DID SHE HAVE TO BE SAD ABOUT?! She hadn't lost anything?! She hadn't felt the solitude that Hana had! She hadn't lost everything that Hana had! Even still, Hana's feelings would mix between a sadness and anger that confused her small brain. Hana would fall to her hands and knees in front of her sister looking to the ground as her tears dripped onto the grass beneath her.

Almost as if she didn't realize, Hana would begin to speak aloud, "Selfish and stupid. I am so selfish and stupid. What could she be so sad for? She couldn't have endured what I did. She couldn't have been lonely. Ha.
Such a fool. I never had anything to begin with. I'm just a kid. I'm not supposed to do the cool things Sayuri does. I'm not supposed to be great. I'm not supposed to have anything I have. It's all supposed to be hers. I'm just the little kid. Sayuri lost everything I did and then some. Maybe if they had died sooner... before me... none of this would be a problem. She wouldn't have had to look out for me or give me knew things, even if I didn't know it was her. Maybe, she could have lived in our big house.
Maybe, she could could have moved on with her sadness because she wouldn't have to worry about me. What am I now? I thought I was good. I thought I had a future. I thought.. I was.. supposed to be something... but... I-I.." Hana would stop speaking as her mind fell into a depressed trance while her emotions leaked onto the grass continually. Her small chest would force air in and out as she panicked over what her newfound position was in this world. Did Sayuri even want her?

Sayuri couldn't stand the silence as Hana went through everything over in her head, maybe just making things worse or trying to just make sense of it all, but if the jounin had known what the girl would be doing next it was almost preferable. It was like she had just completely forgotten that her older sister was there at all as she began on a conversation all by herself. "Hana?" Sayuri wiped away some of her own tears as the girl ignored her attempts to break through and get to her before she fell too far into her sorrow. Nothing seemed to work however. So she couldn't help it, she had to try harder. Having very little idea on what to do in these sorts of situations however, she would need to simply rely on her instincts.

The jounin would attempt to pull the girl up from the ground to wrap her arms around her, holding her close in a tight hug. "You'll do great things Hana, I know it. Your future is going to be brighter than mine ever was. I'll make sure of it" She would try her best to stop the girl escaping her until she calmed down. After all, the way she was acting worried the older Uzumaki quite a lot, she just couldn't stand it. She had to make up for all those years of lies, and it would need to start now.

Her arms bent at the elbows as he strength weakened and brought her semi-defeated body closer to the ground. Her mind spiraled out of control ignoring every attempt made by her sister to snatch her from her depressed state of mind. Hana didn't know where she was, who was around, what was happening, or why she was so disturbed in the first place. Yet.. her mind.. kept going. Hana felt numb to the world to the point where she was bound to have stayed in that very spot until she was discovered by some pyre soul with the desire to get her help. However, the moment Sayuri touched the child and dragged her close for an embrace, Hana would snap back to reality as her limbs flailed at her small fists attempted to connect with her Sensei's flesh. "How do you know?!
Im just a stupid kid! You don't know me! You don't know anything about me! Y-Y.... D--Does anyone...Do you even love me?" Her body had flailed rapidly only slowing with each screamed word that eminated from her tiny mouth, which would also slow into a hoarse whisper of sobs. Her arms could stop punching and wrap around her sister's torso and her legs would follow. The child held onto Sayuri with everything she had as her heart sunk asking that final question. The younger Uzumaki knew how heartbroken her sister would be hearing such a question, but it was something Hana hadn't heard since her parents' passing. She was young and yearned for affections from anyone willing to care for her and support her. She needed Sayuri and she always would.

Sayuri would weather the storm of the young girl's flailing limbs, it was hardly an effective way to try and fight her way out but it seemed the embrace had worked. If only now. Though nothing could have really prepared her for what Hana had to say next. It sounded like she desperately needed someone to look to. Rather than just a sensei, she wanted proper family. "Of course I do" She hugs the girl tighter, staying silent for just a moment "What kind of big sister would I be if I didn't?" She relaxes slightly, not breaking away from the hug, just making sure she didn't squeeze her too hard. "Please believe me Hana, I don't know what else to say" It seemed despite her achievements and skill meant little when it came to these sorts of situations. The ANBU hadn't taught her how to be a big sister, she just hoped that she could learn as quickly as she could so little Hana didn't have to cry any more.

As Sayuri confirmed her very affections for her younger sister making sure Hana knew that she was loved by somebody in this large world. Hana would sink into her sister's embrace for what seemed like the remainder of the day, although the sun was far from falling beneath the horizon. Her face was damp with tears for longer than she had excepted. However, her tears had turned from saddened anger to a point of mourning. She still felt a twinge of anger in her heart, yet her heart was now at a better state of rest knowing she finally had something to call her own. Her heart was now just the slightest bit put together knowing that she hadn't lost everything just yet. She was simply happy to know that somewhere her parents were watching their reunion and didn't need to hurt anymore seeing them so far apart. Hana couldn't be mad anymore for Sayuri stayed with her and proved, just a little, that she would be there when her sister hurt. Hana couldn't be angry anymore knowing that someone was here to embrace her and speak encouraging words to her. All she could think now was, "W-What happens when it gets dark? A-Are you.. gonna come home.. with me? The house is so big for just me..." Her blue eyes would lift to her sister's face as she stayed wrapped around the older Uzumaki. She was scared. She couldn't help but be. She had her sister in her grasp, but would she be able to keep her around. What if she had to go away? Could she stay in their home with Hana or did she have to stay in her own home? Hana didn't like staying alone. The house was too big and held so many precious pictures, even though none of them included Sayuri, which was probably a product of Sayuri herself. Could they stay like.. a family now?